How Transnationalism Changed The Lives of Filipinx Families
Happy Asian-American Heritage Month!
This year, I’d like to share with you all an essay I wrote titled “How Transnationalism Changed The Lives of Filipinx Families” based on Valerie Francisco-Menchavez’s book “The Labor of Care: Filipina Migrants and Transnational Families in the Digital Age” for my Filipinx-American Experiences class in Asian Interdisciplinary Studies 400X at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas with Professor Constancio Arnaldo.
Professor Valerie Francisco-Menchavez works at the Department of Sociology as an Assistant Professor of Sociology at San Francisco State University. Francisco-Menchavez is also the author of “The Labor of Care: Filipina Migrants and Transnational Families in the Digital Age” which is a book that goes in-depth in the lives of Filipinas as care-workers and the difficulties of sacrifice. We look into what her definition of care-work is in terms of these Filipinas really putting their love and efforts into their care. Francisco-Menchavez did fieldwork for her research, studying various Filipinx families, and even went so far as to going to the Philippines herself and entering these families’ homes to get to know their side and experiences of being part of a transnational family. (Francisco-Menchavez, x). Her studies in New York also help to show appreciation of all the hard work Filipina mothers as immigrant workers do in order to send their children to school, making them the breadwinners of the family for a lot of Filipinx families. (Francisco-Menchavez, 5).
Francisco-Menchavez’s argument, to put it simply, is that everyone in the transnational family has a role in work and a sense of care, it’s not just the OFW (overseas foreign worker) Filipina care-worker. Whether you are the anak (child) of the OFW doing your job to stay in school, or the tita (auntie) taking care of the anak and making sure they’re going to school and staying out of trouble, meron kang umaakto sa pamilya mo! (you have a role in your family). Leslie, a child to Filipina migrant Remedios, stated that it works like a basketball team. They all have positions to fill in for it to all work together. (Francisco-Menchavez, 54). Francisco-Menchavez introduces the concept to the transnationalism argument known as “multidirectional care.” The way transnationalism has evolved with introducing a digital aspect has, for the most part, greatly impacted Filipinx families in all directions of the world. Some key concepts that I will cover talks about the importance of Skype and Facebook, and how it has closed a lot of the gaps in a transnational family. Digital passageways like these help Filipina immigrants watch their children grow, to be able to see them even if it’s through a screen. I can only hope that this book would or did have an impact on people such as policymakers, where some Filipina care-workers could not even go back home to the Philippines because they feared they would not be able to come back, thus losing their job. (Francisco-Menchavez, 17).Or people such as the families in the Philippines, who don’t know how hard their mothers are working just for them to be skipping out on school or not caring about their own future while their mother is killing themselves to give them one.
One perspective in-between the issues/themes Francisco-Menchavez covered is “the inversion of men’s roles, patriarchy, and masculinity.” (Arnaldo, 2020). Primarily those who play a role as tatay (dad) in the family, who usually ends up having to care for their children in a domestic sense since their wives, or the nanay (mom), is now the OFW. Having this gender-role switch, especially in such a Catholic-rooted country, might have been hard for tatays to get used to. In one of the families, Enteng, Filipina migrant Joan’s husband, denied responsibility for caring for his family and children in a nurturing way due to the fact that he felt emasculated because his wife Joan took over as the breadwinner. (Francisco-Menchavez, 45). Not only did he not want to take on the nurturing role, but presumably he also did not believe in asking for a helping hand as he apparently could not reach out to ask for help from the Gonzalez clan nor could find a “new identity” to help his new role in the family. (Francisco-Menchavez, 46). On the other hand, Mauricio, Filipina migrant Vickie’s husband, was the complete opposite of Enteng. Mauricio was very much willing and motivated to take care of his family, even when he had the nurturing role. He learned to cook, clean, and do laundry. With every achievement he made, and every way he did it better than before, his kids always made sure to let him know he was doing just great by trying for them. Another tatay that was not afraid to take over a nurturing role was Filipina migrant Remedios’ husband, Ignacio. Remedios’ anak, Lara, even explained that Ignacio would even go as far as washing their menstruation-stained underwear. (Francisco-Menchavez, 49). Ignacio’s sweet saying, “taking care of them is taking care of her” ensures Remedios that her children are in good hands. (Francisco-Menchavez, 50). It is because of tatays like Mauricio and Ignacio that men should not be afraid to take on the nurturing role and they should not feel emasculated, because taking care of your family doesn’t have a gender.
The most important theme for me that I have taken from Francisco-Menchavez is the use of digital communications like Skype and Facebook through transnational families. Growing up, it never dawned on me how much digital communication truly meant for an OFW. It was even harder for those like my Mom (I call my Mom “Mom” instead of nanay because I grew up as an English-speaking Filipina) who started as an OFW before Skype and Facebook was accessible from both sides of the family. For a while, it was not possible for my Mom and her family to video chat because her family in the Philippines could not afford a desktop with a webcam nor internet. Various Filipina migrants stated that it was hard not seeing their children grow up or couldn’t see eye to eye in any way. (Francisco-Menchavez, 69). It was very tough during the times that my lola (grandma) was on her deathbed and my Mom had to buy international phone minutes and check every day on my lola until the day my grandma passed away. It was only then my Mom also could afford to go back to the Philippines, after selling all her gold jewelry. Once it was accessible, it became a little easier, and I could definitely see that from both points of view that they were happy every time they Skyped, just like Filipina migrant Rose when she got to see her anak through Skype. (Francisco-Menchavez, 77). Filipina migrant Rita also can relate to this when she opens up how evening knowing what her family ate for dinner or letting her know what they’re planning for an event makes her feel like she never left home. (Francisco-Menchavez, 52). Facebook is another way Filipinx families keep in touch when they’re not Skyping, seeing their posts, and showing what they’re doing in everyday life. One way Filipina migrants love to show affection from overseas is through gifts, as Len also expresses that her nanay did this when she was abroad. (Francisco-Menchavez, 53). So, a lot of the times, they will send balikbayans which literally translates to “back to the country.” It is a large cardboard box filled with all types of goodies for the family back in the Philippines. Every year or so, families will send one, especially if they can’t make it back home during holidays, they’ll send one in remembrance of them.
However, not every family benefits from Skype or Facebook. There are instances where families will actually find difficulties and quarrel with having each other on Facebook or really only growing up with knowing and seeing their nanay through Skype. With instances like Filipina migrant Olivia and her anak Althea, Althea is the type of poster on Facebook to post whatever she wants without thinking about the consequences of her nanay’s responses. (Francisco-Menchavez, 84). I relate to Althea to an extent, where I would also post what I would experience or what I thought back when I was a pre-teen and my tita would always snitch on me to my Mom. It was to the point where I eventually blocked both of them for about 3 years or so until I moved to the Philippines to attend school. Having family constantly judge your every social move becomes irritating and unmotivating to update them on your life. And I’m sure the most bothersome experience any Filipinx migrant can relate to is utang (loans). Filipina migrant Rutsi opens up about her experience with people she barely even knew asking for loans or “sponsors” not evening expecting the money back. (Francisco-Menchavez, 90). This is so common that it is well known that these people are walang hiya (no shame). Every time I would leave the Philippines for summer break to go back home to San Jose, all of my classmates or even my teachers would say jokes like “Size 9 ako sa sapatos, ha!” (I’m size 9 in shoes, okay!) or “Bilhin mo ako ng tsokolate, yung Toblerone!” (Buy me chocolates, the Toblerone!) Even after leaving the Philippines for years and not keeping in touch with almost anyone there, I still had random people messaging me for utang, sponsor, or even worse — maging ninang ng anak nila! (Be a godmother to their child!) Because in the Philippines, being a godparent means to financially support them whenever they need it and especially during their birthday and holidays.
In conclusion, Francisco-Menchavez, in the best way she could, brought out a lot of the sides of a transnational family that many Filipino families in either side sometimes still cannot see to this day. Husbands don’t know how much their wives need them to take care of their families when they’re breaking their backs in America. Ang mga anak (The children) don’t understand that the whole reason as to why their nanays went abroad is for their future and the least they could do is stay in school. And Filipina migrants may not understand that no matter how hard they work and how much they try to connect with their families back home, sometimes it’ll never be enough compared to physical love and connections. The whole relationship with Filipina migrant Olivia and her anak Althea in Chapter 4, was too real to read. Many times, Althea mentioned how Olivia just couldn’t understand her, that no matter what she did, it was never enough for her nanay. How Olivia always pushes that “binigay ko na lahat para sa’yo, pero wala naman akong pagkukulang…” (I gave up everything to you, and I didn’t do anything wrong…) (Francisco-Menchavez, 125). As someone who has experienced being a child of a transnational family in the Philippines, there were times that it got hard, I would vent to my parents but they just wouldn’t get me, or say things like “ganon lang talaga, pagtiisan mo, ikaw ang nag gusto nito.” (That’s just how it is, push through it, you wanted this.) This primary resource of transnational families and multidirectional care of Filipinx expresses the reality that many deny seeing. Growing up, my Mom always told me, “Hindi importante ang sobrang dami ng pera. Ang importante may masayang pamilya.” (Having a lot of money is not important, it’s more important to have a very happy family.)
